Newsletter-cum-magazine of Oasis Movement YEAR 3 I ISSUE 54 I Mar 1, 2010

Special issue on FAMILY-BUILDING

Your Family Belongs To Which Of These Categories?

• Authoritarian culture of the elders dictates the family instead of friendliness.
• Obedience is demanded from adult children.
• Family’s ‘prestige’ is the center of the family rather than growth of each individual.
• Strong opposition to any positive change in the family.
• Elders preach instead of setting examples themselves.
• Women face lot of injustice and conservative attitude.
• No or very negligible division of work or labour.
• Rigidly demanding that all follow and work only as per the ‘predefined’ systems.
• Camouflaging small matters as very big principles.
• Human values of love, joy, growth and peace are ignored.
• Enforcing rules on a new bride or a new member joining the family.
• Unequal, partial distribution of wealth, property or income.
• Criticizing when someone makes a ‘mistake’ or fails.
• Not spending time with family members when they need it and as much as they need it.

• Family members- especially elders don’t lose their temper over small matters.
• All members of the family express their love continuously for each other in different ways.
• Humour and fun are also flowing continuously, at the same time it ensures that fun and teasing never cross their limits of civility.
• Nobody’s growth is hindered. Nobody imposes nor demands anything from anyone for giving service or co-operation to the family. Yet all think of each other with lot of sincerity, take care of them; help each other genuinely.
• Instances of squabbles and quarrels do occur, but it’s for the sake of nurturing independence of family member but there is no bitterness.
• The issue of spending time together is decided rationally and is evaluated also. Family members always try to understand and accept the conflicts of created due to profession or pursuit of mission. Thus a beautiful harmony exists in the family, even if they spend less time with each other.
• It respects differences.
• Communication is the lifeline of the family. There is an atmosphere of harmony and dialogue in the family.

We must ask ourselves these questions- what is the purpose of family? Are we a meaningful family? Am I aware about the myths and notions of a family?

A Successful family is committed and supportive of each other; it provides a foundation and anchor for each member. But a Significant family, according to Dr Stephan Covey, has moved to the next level. It is able to “be outside of self” by reaching out to help others. He encouraged successful families to work in the community to make a difference in others. Our nation is because of the services and sacrifices of such significant families.

From the booklet ‘The Gift of Family’, An Oasis Publication (Author: Sanjiv Shah, translated by Sheeba Nair)

 Only a Strong and Happy Family Can Lead to the Birth of a Noble Nation

As we talk of rising economic prosperity and a strong and confident nation, this book gently reminds us of the values that make for a truly sustainable society, at the heart of which is the family.

For it is not economic growth or military strength alone that make a society strong. Sustainable success comes

from values, and these can sustain a society, and a nation, even in times of hardship. The book attempts to express an ideal by which society may prosper, and speaks of how spirituality can help create a noble nation and a better world. It provides a valuable counterpoint to the modern-day emphasis on consumerism and the philosophy of more is better, highlighting the sanctity of the natural world and its great power to evoke human creativity and love.

Authors: Acharya Mahapragya,                   A.P.J. Abdul Kalam




The most effective way to build clarity about the principles of your family is to write/prepare Family Mission Statement. What type of family you want to be (Character) and how do you want to contribute as a family (Contribution to the society). Through family mission statement, you can create a deep sense of belonging, meaning and common purpose among all family members, which will serve as guidelines for all family decisions.

Click here for 'how to prepare Family Mission Statement'.

Click here to see Sample of Family Mission Statement.

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

By Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, the very success of the family lies in the development of deep, genuine and loving relationships by each member of the family in the world outside the family.

A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to.

When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain language what is wrong with me."

"Well in plain language," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so that I can tell my wife."

Regular Family meals are more healthy and beneficial to all family members, especially children and adolescents.

Have you ever noticed the inner beauties and inner strengths of your spouse? Two words of hearty appreciation will make your relationship much deeper. Ironically, mostly we are so very much unaware about the most important things in our spouse, though after living years together. Same is true for other family relationships also. Try to see the things which are not apparent, think about it, acknowledge it. It will add a great positive force in your relationship.

Do you remember any one incident when as a child you have felt complete insecurity as your mother and father were saying different things on the same issue? Yes, before teaching our children to respect different opinions, we must as a parent give them security of oneness. For this, we, as spouses, need to spare qualitative time with each other, have dialogue and make our understanding one.

  Editor's Note

Family - an important word to human beings. Family is the source of strength of any individual and one of the motivating forces for man/woman to progress and achieve.

Family, if lived in a right perspective, can give immense satisfaction and produce great human-beings and nations.

So, we bring this special issue on Family-Building.

From this issue, we are starting a new feature, 'Beyond words'. The feature will be an expression beyond the limitations of language or words. Give your reflections, please.

Wish you all a most joyous Holi with colors of happiness & love.

~ Mehul Panchal  Mehul

N.B.: We are thankful to Ms. Poonam Golani for her contribution in creating this special issue.

  Celebrating International   Women's Day (IWD)

Oasis is celebrating International Women's Day on 8th March, as a part of it's ongoing Indian Young Leadership Development Program (IYLDP). There will be a unique musical interactive dialogue for school girls ( 9am to 1 pm) and college girls (3 to 7 pm) on the subject of "Nari Jivan ni Bhet (Gift of Womanhood)".

Program will be limited for 50 girls each. So, rush to make your registration, now. Contact at our Vadodara office on 0265-2321728 or email to:

Click here to see a nice presentation on Womanhood.

  Quotable Quotes

“To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.”

~ Confucius

“A man can't make a place for himself in the sun if he keeps taking refuge under the family tree.”

~ Helen Keller

“I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.”

~ Pearl S Buck

“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.”

~ Jim Rohn

  Publication Basket

The Gift of Family/ Sadkutumb Ni Bhet

Written by : Sanjiv Shah Translated by : Sheeba Nair
Pages: 48        Rs. 20.00

If you have questions like- What could be the goals of an ideal family? What are the problems and concerns of a family? What are the common mistakes committed in a family? What are the characteristics of an ideal family? What could be the tallest achievement for a family? Are joint families the best form of family systems? – then this book is for you.

A must read for all those interested in making their family a meaningful family.

Available in both languages- English and Gujarati.

  Alive Archives

To View Alive Archives, Please Click here>>>

  Team Alive

  Alkesh Raval

  Jolly Madhra

  Jwalant Bhatt

  Kshama Kataria

  Mehul Panchal

  Sanjiv Shah

  Sheeba Nair

  Umesh Patel

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